I’ve been sitting in a lot of churches lately. I say ‘sitting’ because I can’t be completely present at every mass because I’m working. I’m still think about the ambient light in the room and my ISO. However, I have caught little bits and pieces of prayers, different religious traditions and hymns. My job is really interesting. I like seeing how different religions worship.
This past weekend, I was helping my friend Jenna at a wedding and I had a moment to reflect. The pastor/priest/minister (etc…) was talking about how marriage is scary, and how that is a good thing. Big life decisions are supposed to be scary. He wasn’t trying to frighten the crowd, but speaking from the heart. Scary is good. Scary means you’re taking a risk; growing, learning. I could help but relate in my own way.
Brayton asked me over wine one night what I would do if I was broke. No money, no credit cards, and no prospect of future income. What would I do if I had no money for the rest of my life?
“I’d find a tin can, and make a pinhole camera!” I immediately replied.
This answer may have been slightly fueled by wine but it’s true. I’d still find a way to photograph. Not only because I love it, but because it scares me sometimes. I’m afraid I’ll fail. But that’s what motivates me. I know this is a sick way to motivated yourself, but fear also pushes me. Fear pushes me to be better… enter Art Prize, experiment with a new lens, take risks personally and professionally.
I had planned on shooting with my 70-200 mm lens for this wedding and the sun was blaring! There was no shade in sight and I felt that fear creeping back up. How the heck was this going to work? But then I took a moment, re-grouped myself, pushed the fear away and leaned on my technically skills. I know how to shoot in bright sun. I can do this! And I surprised myself with the end results. Because, in the back of my mind, I knew I could do it. I just needed to believe in myself!
How does fear motivate you?
More from Jill and Matt’s wedding coming soon!